the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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