What a fucking waste of an outfit
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize