so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
