I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
