i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
