so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
