Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
