absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
