Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize