Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
