Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
