I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
