so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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