I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
