UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
