mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
