it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
