i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Randomize
