i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
and she was petting her beer can
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize