Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
