I think my vagina is haunted
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
