sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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