? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize