this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
