Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Sext me about skeletons
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
