saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
