saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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