I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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