I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Randomize
