weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Randomize
