my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
