I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Just high enough for therapy.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
