Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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