Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
