Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize