well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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