I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
