cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
