I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
