I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
