If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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