She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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