There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
