Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
