yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
420 ftw
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
