I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
