i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
