i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
