I can tuck mytits in my pants
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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