I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize