my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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