I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Well I just put wine in my tea
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
