Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
