The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
