fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize