hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
