Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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