happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
