He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
