oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
