White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
